HANDLING THE PRESIDENT’S PHONE 5

A reader asked if I postponed the dream for which I did not narrate on Monday.

The fact was that, I did not sleep since I woke up at about 4 am Saturday until the early hours of Monday. I couldn’t have dreamt under such circumstances.

So Opana called in when I was speaking to the French President. I called back and could hear him rattle at the background.

So I asked myself, are we in Ghana or some other land combined with those from the Americas, West-Indian, Spain, France , British or some other dream land in a dream.

John John he acclaimed. Yes, oooo Opana, how are you doing? Am fine too, except the internal issues.

You see, I have decided to step out of town because my head is hot. I can’t find anywhere to hide my sakora. I don’t want to grow grey on this smooth upper layer he said.

I don’t understand, what do you mean sir? Who is chasing you out? I asked him.

John, you know am determined to dislodge you. He retorted. How? But you have attempted before. I cut in.

Oooo, John, I am winning this time round. Massa, I am not impressed with your performance. You performed below my expectations. He added.

Your expectations? Your expectations based on which mandate? Did you give me a mandate for which you attached expectations? Could you even maintain your own expectations on yourself before expecting mine? I asked.

I mean you have performed below the expectations of Ghanaians. He made a quick turn.

Massa, I am glad you said Ghanaians. I know you are a Ghanaian but, I don’t know what makes you always think you speak for Ghanaians. Have you been able to meet the expectations of your party members who elected you? I asked.

Look, leave my party matters out. I am taking about your incompetence? He burst out. Look, we have a record while in government. He added.

Record? Oh ok, I have seen a record you brought out on Positive Change. I saw smiling monkeys in a sanctuary. Were the monkeys your creation, or that you brought them into this country to Fiama or that you made them smile that added to your record? I asked.

I could sense some anger from the other side of the phone. He shouted, we have had a competent record with much development to show for. He said.

Much record, not too long ago, I passed Nima and Mamobi and I still could see horizontal houses. What happened to the vertical houses you promised? I even passed a chop bar around and thought I would have seen it change into a restaurant since it predated your government. I said.

John, we are talking about projects ooo. The NPP had planted many projects that I cannot count. Start counting I interrupted. Does it include the two-door HIPC toilets sited in forests? Look, start counting them because I am going to start counting mine over these three years.

Have you not seen the latest……. Who just woke me up koraa.

I don’t want this to end here. I pray I continue the dream when I sleep today.

…….. To be continued……..