HANDLING THE PRESIDENT’S PHONE 6

So I went to bed quite late and tired. I understood the task of holding the president’s phone and so, I have become used to it.

However, inasmuch as I enjoyed holding the phone in the past 5 dreams, I think I have not had time to eat.

Just when I was about putting something in my mouth, I realized Opana was still on the line. Eeeee, sorry ooo boss.

Yes, as I said, we have records. Go round the country and you would see buildings with the inscription “HIPC benefit”. We built toilets, we build 3-unit classroom blocks, we brought school feeding program (although I heard something like school feeling plobrem), we brought school feeding, we brought National Health Insurance. He enumerated.

Opana, so this day and age, you want to see what government is doing in relation to toilets? Come on man, Opana.

I am not sure you would want us to bring a new health insurance scheme when there is one that needs perfection. We have made it better than we met it no matter what you say. Just check the number of Ghanaians on the scheme before you left power and compare to the number today. You were practicing a district health scheme that could not allow cross-district use. We have made it national as the name depicts. Abi you know this. I added.

As a matter of fact, while you were in my position, Out Patient Department (OPD) record never exceeded 1 million if I am not mistaken. Today, as at our last check, OPD attendance alone had exceeded the population we had. That could not be described as failing.

Again, when you were leaving office, the total students fed under the School Feeding Programme was placed at about 400,000. Today, we are feeling 1,800,000 and over school children with the programme now re-targeted to capture needed students. Is that a collapsed system? I asked.

Look, John, you have not delivered much at all. He asserted once again.

That is one rabbit sweeping statement. Recently you embarked on some tour which I heard some people describe as Rice and Beans Tour. What did you see me building? Are you aware I have built 5 polyclinics in Western Region, 5 in Brong Ahafo, 5 in Upper East, 10 in Greater Accra? Have you heard of the Dodowa hospital? Have you heard of the multi-purpose edifice at the University of Ghana meant for a Teaching Hospital, the Ridge hospital, the Police Hospital, 37 Military Hospital in Kumasi, CHIPS compounds all over the country. Or while you were arising to build, weren’t you taking stock of what has been done so far? Are you sure you are on a mission to rise and build or you went on a tourist mission? I added.

By the way, I heard you guys are suspending just like that. Why can’t you bury your difference for the larger goal? I asked.

This is not your house matter. Remember your predecessor once said “di wo fie asem” he retorted.

Oh, you mean that one too is not understood. Was that in relation to issues in Ghana or issues outside Ghana? Ghana is my house and everything that happens here must concern me, especially that I am the president – father of the nation of which you are my son. I replied.

Look, John, we are coming in 2016. We are taking the seat by storm this time round. He sounded confidently. But, did you really ever believed you were losing until you lost? I am optimistic, but not complacent.

With this abysmal performance coupled with your incompetence, we will take the seat of President. I will be president after the next elections. He sounded.

Hehe, so what you are offering your party the NPP is competence? Then I will prefer my peaceful incompetence to competence in chaos. You have lost grip of your party and require some tutelage to find a solution. I pointed.

Anyway, General Mosquito would send you a road map on now to overcome these seemingly difficult problem you have no idea of solving. I told him.

Look, John, you can’t talk to me like that. I am providing leadership in the NPP. One the party had not seen before. Oh, yes, truly you are offering what had not been seen before – acid baths, stabbing, dismissals of elected officials whose crime is fighting corruption. I posited.

But, where is the report on the commission you set up to look into the alleged financial chop chop in your party?

Hello, hello, hello………

It seems Opana had hanged up.