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Did my husband infect me? 

Dear Bunmi,

After being divorced for a while, I met up with an old flame I’d left 30 years ago. We rekindled our relationship and eventually married. I knew he’d cheated on previous partners, but he always assured me that it was in the past. Then last year, he started coming home late and claimed he was too tired for sex.


Shortly afterwards, I was shocked to discover that I had a sexually transmitted disease – and so had he. I asked him if he was cheating, but he denied it. Then I found a woman’s number on his mobile. He said he had no idea who she was. Although I have no concrete proof that he’s cheating, I know in my heart that he is. I just don’t know what to do about it.

Chika, by e-mail.

Dear Chika,

I think you know in your heart of hearts that your husband is cheating. Even worse, he’s risking your health. It’s widely believed that once a man cheats, he will cheat again. I can’t tell you what to do now but be rest assured that being on your own isn’t as bad as you might think. An innocent partner would be outraged if he had an infection he knew nothing of and I’m sure he would have kept quiet of his disease if you hadn’t mention it.

Seek counselling if you must. Your peace of mind is more important than a relationship without trust.

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